The world’s
greatest
sinner
was I
and I ought to say I
enjoyed it.
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Tag: God
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Sinner
Posted at 10:03 pm , on February 1, 2017
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Just Lack of Light
Posted at 1:39 pm , on August 7, 2016
It was dark yesterday. Maybe that’s something to be expected on a Saturday in the city. The sun wasn’t shining. It was past midnight when you went out for the round.But listen to me, please. It was dark.
Dead.
They were dead.
There was no life.What?I have read somewhere that darkness is just a lack of light, so I turned around and looked for light.
Made eye-contact with the security guard outside the bar.
Dead.
He raised his eyebrows at me.
I shook my head.
I smiled.
Shy.I kept on walking, drunken laughter behind me.
“I don’t miss it”, I thought, I turned up the volume to my headphones.
Rounded a corner, past a couple of teenagers. Made sure I didn’t made eye-contact with them, too. I don’t want to know of their liveliness, or lack thereof.Passed by an empty police car outside the station. It was ready to go, but empty. Ready to save people. Maybe there had been a robbery. Maybe someone had been hurt. Maybe someone had been too angry. Maybe someone was dead. But I can guarantee you they wouldn’t take care of the dead eyes just round the corner.Ready to save people.But not quite.I shook my head. Said Jesus a couple of times because that’s all I was getting out.Across the street was a church.Also dark.So I stopped, looked at it.My grandfather tells me it’s lovely there, the best one yet. Lovely lights, lovely preacher, lovely people who will sit by your table when you drink your coffee. Who am I to argue with a seventy year old man who has gone to church his whole life?But why is it so dark?Darkness is just a lack of light.
Jesus.
Jesus?
JESUS?!I shouted it, but quietly. In my head. There are certain things you don’t shout past midnight, now a Sunday. This I’ve been told.Where are you?
“What are you doing?”“I’m writing, Mom.”
“What are you writing?”
“I – I don’t know.”
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Jeremiah 29:11
Posted at 7:48 pm , on October 12, 2015
“For I know the plans I have for you,” says the Lord . “They are plans for good and not for disaster, to give you a future and a hope.”
JER 29:11 NLT
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Souls Among Thousands
Posted at 3:48 am , on September 21, 2015
Wind blowing through my hair,rushing itself to warmer places.Her laughter filling the dusty, colorful streets.Getting lost in the crowd,the city swallowed us whole.Two souls among thousands.I was yet to admire the beauty of coincidence,of fate,of God’s plan over us all.Because being there.Right there,Right then.Two souls among thousands.Despite everything,I was happy. -
Imperfectly Perfect
Posted at 2:31 pm , on June 16, 2014
I saw that you were perfect so I loved you. Then I saw that you were not perfect so I loved you even more.
Have you ever heard this saying? I found it a few years ago and I have loved it ever since. It describes how we, when we are in love, just adore everything about that special person. Even all the flaws. All the beautiful scars, maybe both physical and mental, and how they may flinch at something that happens because of their history. Their stories, their jokes that you may not actually find funny, but because it’s them, they are. How we love how they act when they’re cranky or tired. How we love when they are mad and unable to speak and walk out of the room. You find it adorable that they are punishing you by ignoring you when you’ve done something they thought was bad. The way they scream at you to love them the days things are not going so well, or they way they hide under a blanket when they feel bad for something and refuse to talk about it.
Can I just not agree with this for a moment? Because what happens if their scars and brokenness affects you? Maybe you care too much and try to fix it and it backfires right at you? Because maybe it was harder than you thought it would be. Maybe you’re just too different. Maybe you just see things too differently. Maybe you’re the one getting hurt. Maybe it does piss you of when that person is acting up. Maybe you’re all of a sudden in the same thing that person is in. Maybe you would be better off with that person.
But, maybe, just maybe, God has everything under control. Maybe it’s all a spiritual war and we’re both being attacked. Maybe the thief’s purpose is to kill, steal and destroy, as John 10:10 says, because when you think about it, many miracles has happened. Maybe it is all a part of a plan. Maybe I am a part of a plan. Maybe we just need to put our trust in the Lord and everything will be okay.
Will it be okay?
I believe it will.
I hope it will.
Please.Love, Sara
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The Story Behind My Tattoo
Posted at 1:32 pm , on June 15, 2014
If you haven’t read “Delivered, Strong and Free” I recommend you to do that. It will give you the story of this story, so to speak. It can be found at the top of the page!
Freedom. Set Free. At peace.
It’s a reminder of being set free. The miracle of it. The way I reacted to a single prayer. The way I cringed every time I heard the name Jesus. The hatred I could feel against Christians. Sadly, how almost everybody is in need of some kind of deliverance. The power in just praying in the spirit. How anybody who believes can deliver somebody in the name of Jesus. It reminds me of the struggle of not being delivered and the feeling of hopelessness. How it feels as if God just doesn’t care. But how he does. How he really does.
This is what I want to do with my life; praying for people’s deliverance. I have been in this position myself. It is absolutely awful. I want to help people in this situation.Love, Sara
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Daily Confessions by Curry Blake
Posted at 5:29 pm , on May 2, 2014
Father, I believe your Word.
Your Word is true.
What it says is true.
What it says I can do, I can do.
What it says I am, I am.
I’m going to do what it says I can do. I’m going to activate the power of God in my life.
I’m going to make my faith effective by acknowledging every good thing in me
that is in Christ Jesus
because it’s not I who live,
but Christ who lives in me.
I died, was buried, and I was raised up with Him
to sit with him in heavenly places
far above all principalities and powers.
That means far above all sickness and disease.
I am no longer under the beggarly elements of this world,
but I’m over them.
They don’t tell me what to do; I tell them what to do.
I tell the flu to get away from me, and it flees.
I tell poverty to get away from me and it flees.
God has given me the ability to create wealth
so that I can establish His covenant on the earth.
I work with my hands.
I’m healthy.
I’m strong.
I am an overcomer
because greater is He that is in me than he that is in the world.
I tread upon serpents and scorpions. I have authority over all the ability of the enemy,
and nothing, Nothing, NOTHING shall by any means hurt me,
touch my family,
or come near my dwelling.
When sickness tries to come toward me, I’ll run toward it.
It flees in 7 directions because greater is He that is in me.
The law of the spirit
of life in Christ Jesus
has made me free
from the law of sin and death.
I’m free from sin.
I don’t walk in sin.
I walk in holiness.
I walk in righteousness.
I don’t walk in death.
I don’t walk in sickness.
I walk in life.
I don’t have abundant life.
I have life abundant!
I have life enough for me,
and I have life enough to give away.
I have health.
Healing is in my hands, and I can give it away. What I have I can give. I have Christ,
I have life,
I have health,
I have strength.
I have the spirit of power,
of love,
and of a sound mind.
Not the spirit of timidity.
I have clarity of thought.
I don’t have anything that clouds my mind.
I keep my mind focused. My mind is stayed on Him and because of that I stay in perfect peace. I don’t care what the stock market is going to do, because the kingdom of heaven is going to stay the same. I am not of this world—I’m in it
but not of it. I’m of the kingdom of God.
Jesus is Lord. He is Lord over me, Lord over my house, Lord over my health, Lord over my finances, Lord over my family, Lord over all my property. My property belongs to him and therefore the devil can’t touch it. Jesus is Lord!
I have an anointing that abides. It doesn’t come and go. It abides. It is the Holy Spirit himself. The fullness of God dwells in Jesus Christ, and Jesus Christ dwells in me. The Spirit dwells in me. The Father dwells in me. I’m so full of God that there is no room for the devil. There is no room for sickness or disease. There is only room for health and life. I have so much health and life I’m overflowing. People that get around me get infected with life. They get healed and they don’t even know why. I am going to tell them because I preach the gospel to every creature. I lay hands on the sick, and they do recover. I can do the same works that Jesus did and greater because He went to the Father. Now I’m going to let my light shine so that man can see my good works and glorify my Father which is in heaven.
Amen!
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Occultism Revealed
Posted at 10:49 pm , on March 9, 2014
Not very long ago, I bought this journal which I always had with me because of my obsession with writing. Even back then I sensed something bad with it, but I thought that I must be wrong. Sure, I have the gift of discernment, but do I really always feel it?
Not very long ago, I bought this journal which I always had with me because of my obsession with writing. Even back then I sensed something bad with it, but I thought that I must be wrong. Sure, I have the gift of discernment, but do I really always feel it?
Max and I officially became a couple on July 7th last year. It was summer, I had the boy of my dreams and everything was perfect. At our five-months anniversary, however, things started to get bad and I could feel myself going in some sort of depression. Max and I started to fight and I had no idea was I was doing (or going to do) with my life. The God I’ve once had a close relationship with seemed distant, or rather hateful, towards me and I had no idea what to do. I didn’t want to hang out with my Christian friends. I didn’t want to go to church which is usually the one place where I can feel like myself.
However, last Thursday, in Psychology-class, it came to me. With the journal in front of me, I realized that I really did feel something with it. (Those commas!) At the cover of it there was this six-pointed star and I googled the original meaning of it. Guess what I found?
“The Six-Pointed Star: The origin, and history of the six-pointed star (hexagram) and its mysterious link with mankind from the days of Egypt are intriguing. The six-pointed star has long been used in magic, occultism, witchcraft, and astrology, and has been found at the scene of so many occult crimes that the police in California issued a directive to all schools warning children to be cautious of this symbol.”
Oh, crap. Yes, I have huge problems with occult objects. It doesn’t matter if it’s something printed on a T-shirt, a piece of furniture, statues or scented candles. It all affects me really bad as time goes by.
Now to the fun part; I checked my bank account which tells me I bought it on November 26th. In other words, ten days before our five-months anniversary!Now to my favorite part! As I was straightening my hair that spectacular morning (Yes, I straighten my really short hair that doesn’t need to be straighten. Don’t judge me!) I told God that he has to give me some kind of proof that he actually cares, because I felt that I could not be living this way. I never tell God stuff like this because I’m afraid nothing will happen and I will doubt his existence. (Yes, I’ve seen tons of miracles and wonders and still doubt.) And then this happens!
The journal is now burned and is no longer affecting me. You won’t believe how relieved I am. Both me and Max have seen huge differences in these couple of days.
I guess the point of this post is that you too should be careful of what you bring into your home. Even if you don’t feel it directly, it does change you in a negative way. Pray for wisdom and for the right people to come your way if you are unsure about these kind of things, and I, too, am praying for you! God bless!
Love, Sara
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When the Devil attacks, God is there.
Posted at 8:16 pm , on January 20, 2014
I find it amazing how one simple song can bring back so many memories. As I was listening to Spotify, when “Whom Shall I Fear” by Chris Tomlin came on and memories from two years back came rushing to my mind like of herd of bisons running for their lives. “Don’t forget me, Sara!”
Back then I thought those nights were awful, but looking back at them, they were actually not that bad. It was at this prayer group my mom and I went to every wednesday for six months. I saw healing. I saw manifestations. I saw the things I, as a long-time Christian, have always wanted to see. Things the pastor has only spoken of.
Maybe I’m selfish, I don’t know, but the awful thing was that nothing, NOTHING, ever happened to me. Those nights the holy spirit was present and everybody could feel it, I was the only one not feeling it. When they laid hands on the sick, they were healed. When they laid their hand on me, nothing happened. As the others were sitting in the living room, I sat in the kitchen drinking tea. Thankfully, I had David.
David is one of those persons you learn from. You learn and learn and learn. About everything, but especially about things in the Bible. Maybe, just maybe, I needed that then. I am not saying that it “wasn’t my time” for my healing or deliverance because I believe it is always God’s will to heal and to deliver. I believe that certain attacks just have trouble letting go. Which happened to me.
I was delivered last summer so the deliverance came, but I believe that God used that time when I was not being delivered, to teach me. About him and about the Bible.My point is, when the Devil attacks you, God is there. Even though you can’t see it. Because usually, when you feel like you’re in a hopeless situation, that’s where God does his best work.
Love, Sara
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The Blinding Fear
Posted at 2:18 am , on January 19, 2014
Have you ever been followed?
I experienced this tonight as I was talking a nightly walk in the cold winter weather. When my usual route came to its end, instead of going home straight away I walked to town. Since I live about five minutes away from probably the most crowded part of the city, I didn’t see that as I problem. I’ve done it before.
However, as I was crossing the usually trafficked but now almost empty highway, I noticed a car parked too close to the crosswalk. (Yes, I am studying for my driver’s license.) As I passed it, I saw a man, about thirty years old, staring at me through the window of the car. I looked away because I’m socially awkward and continued walking. He turned the car around and followed me slowly as I continued on another, biggest street, containing more people. I noticed that he was following me when I stopped and he had to drive around the house to look at me again without stopping the minimum traffic. There was stopping, parking right next to me, waiting in the corner of the house I had to pass to continue walking on the street, and lap after lap as I stood completely still, not knowing what to do. Fear struck me. The raw, aggressive, blinding kind of fear, and I just stood there, seeing him passing me by slowly and passing me by again.
I am fine. I am perfectly fine as I’m laying in my bed right now. I ran to my boyfriend’s place and he followed me home and that’s that.
I have been spoiled, or blessed, call it whatever you want, with never having to be afraid. I have always known that I have people around me that care for me, and I have never been scared of someone. And I just realized as I came home tonight that so many people are living with this fear. This biting, blood-pumping, icing fear. The fear of not knowing what to do or where to go. The fear of not knowing how to get out of your situation, or being afraid no one will ever care.
I just experienced a glimpse of the fear some people live with all the time, and that was absolutely terrifying. So, tonight my prayers go out to all of you. If you are reading this, you are strong and I know you will get out of it. I believe in you.
All my love, Sara
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Little Pocket Journal 