I guess this was it.
It took baby steps from now on,
knowing I don’t know.
It was breathing in
and remembering to breathe out.
It was loving
and trusting
because I was safe now.
Everything’s okay now, right?
I guess this was it.
It took baby steps from now on,
knowing I don’t know.
It was breathing in
and remembering to breathe out.
It was loving
and trusting
because I was safe now.
Everything’s okay now, right?
“Just don’t touch him”
He leaves eventually,
uncomfortable by my presence
and I beg my lungs to burst,
polite as one could be,
but they don’t.
Never do, these fuckers.
Where did we go wrong?
Come back, talk to me.
Please.
I was told love was pure.
Love was kisses on the cheek,
hugs from behind when you didn’t expect them.
Love was not locking the door,
just if love wanted to see you.
Love was caring,
when no one else was.
Love was all there was sometimes.
Love was forgetting your friends,
but making sure your love was smiling.
Love was dreams sometimes,
waking up to the truth;
it didn’t exist anymore.
Love was not going to bed,
because you’re sickly in love with seeing their face every night.
Love was pure pain sometimes.
Like a manic, like a clown
I was running for life all through town.
What the chaser did not know,
slithering throat here now is my fun.
Now he’s leaping, not worth keeping,
shame he messed ’round with someone like me.
And he’s screaming, he is crying
did he actually think I was lying?
Now he’s dead, no more dread,
let’s go running through town all again.
I loved you today.
Your hair was a mess
and your eyes were unfocused
and you pulled me closer.
I loved you yesterday.
Your hair was flatter
at least to some extent.
I talked too much
you didn’t talk at all,
and you didn’t answer the door
when I came to my senses.
I will love you tomorrow.
You don’t think about your hair
the way I do.
And you will be angry
and happy.
Pull me close
just to push me away.
But I will love you.
But I never did know
if you were for me
or for everyone else.
Just as I am.
What I did know,
truly and fully,
was him next to me,
his face against my own.
The music he was listening to was
way too loud,
leaking through his headphones,
and I was happy.
I guess
I wanted to believe
for once
that would be enough.
Because the leaves were all changing
and the traffic kept rushing.
And I was still stuck in the way his eyes shone,
whenever he laughed.
They really got to you, didn’t they?
Pushing you on towards the edges
tore apart your broken mind.
Now all you hear is chaos,
a beating drum within the ground.
Step in here, darling,
come in close, and closer still.
In you there is a fire,
and I won’t let this one be still.
Come on now, stand before me,
stretch your arms towards the sky.
I’ll stay here, yes, right behind you.
Take the step, you’ll be alright.