About a month ago I found the song “Do Something” by Matthew West. It starts off by saying:
“I woke up this morning, saw a world full of trouble now and thought: How’d we ever get so far down and how’s it ever gonna turn around? I turned my eyes to heaven, thought: “God, why don’t you do something?” Well, I just couldn’t bear the thought of people living in poverty, children sold into slavery. The thought disgusted me. So, I shook my fist at heaven, said: “God, why don’t you do something?” He said: I did. I created you.”
Now, when I heard that last sentence I completely stopped and looked around as if to say: Did anyone else hear that? Which, by the way, must have looked really silly since I was home alone in the kitchen. I was also listening through my earphones. So, no. No one else heard it.
But I have done this a lot lately. Being mad at God. Not actually shaking my fist at heaven, but asking him why he doesn’t do anything. This song was a bit of a wakeup-call with its “I did. I created you.”
One of my friends from school told me once that every single person wants a place where they feel like they belong. I realized just how true this was when I was in church a while ago. I looked at the maybe twenty people before me (I sat at the very back) and realized that they come here because they feel like they belong. They feel accepted here. They feel loved. It doesn’t matter how messed up they think they are as persons, because they are loved exactly for who they are. This is exactly what a church is for me. It’s not just a building. It’s a place for the broken. A place where we can gather together, pray, encourage each other and put our trust in the Lord. A place where you can get help.
I have realized lately that I have this weird, unexplainable love for people. I don’t know whether God has given me this, or I’m just naturally over-emotional as a person, but I want my home to be like a church. I want it to be a place where you can always come to. No matter what, you are always welcome. I have lately been experiencing this love from another Family-In-Christ, and even though I’m bad at showing it, I am so incredibly thankful.
So, however, if you know me personally, and wonder why I am the way I am, this explains it. I’m not flirting with you. (A lot of people mistake it for that.) I just, for some reason, really, really care about you.